However, as 4:00 drew near yesterday, I was still pretty nervous. Because there's the same chance of sitting by yourself, waiting for people to show up, online, as there is if I had invited people over. Fortunately, Dangerous Love is a co-authored book so Kara and I waited alone, together. But we didn't wait long.
I tell my kids, all the time, that you have to like yourself, you can't rely on other people to make you happy, you need to feel good about your accomplishments even without praise. This is very true. But holy goodness, it's a wonderful feeling to have others SHOW that they like you by showing up when you need them. By being there. Not just at the event we held on Facebook yesterday, but in general.
My mom tells me she likes my books-- a lot. But that's what you expect from moms, right? But to have other people, so many of them, be so supportive, I can't even explain how amazing that is. Yesterday, not only did dozens of people show up to celebrate our release and watch the trailer (which is on my home page here), we've had tremendous support along the way. In addition to this, I tucked my anxiety into a tiny little ball and managed to ask Dahlia Adler and Jamie Rae for a copy of their book to give away for release day prizes and they said YES. Then Kara asked Paula Rose and Connie Ann Michael and they said YES.
My best friend texted me from the dentist's chair and said she'd be at the party soon, even though she didn't know what a facebook party was. My husband posted the sweetest message on facebook yesterday about how proud he is. AND HE BROUGHT ME A DOUBLE CHOCOLATE BROWNIE. My kids woke me up by saying Happy Release Day. PEOPLE BOUGHT OUR BOOK. People reviewed our book, interviewed us, tweeted us, shared our tweets, talked to us on facebook. BRENDA DRAKE showed up at our facebook party and hung out. Talk about feeling like a cool kid. Countless friends messaged with me in all my stages of writing this book and waiting for it to come out: Tara Creel, Roselle Kaes, Ami Allen Vath. People like Cyn, who I met on facebook have already offered to help with promoting the next book. My mother-in-law bought the book. Her niece in ENGLAND has read almost everything I've written.
It's overwhelming and it's amazing. There are tough times in this journey: times where I feel like I need to back out, back away, and go back to just baking and making Shutterfly albums. I think I would still write anyway...even if I didn't share it. So I would be a writer anyway. No matter what.
But you guys, all of you (even if I didn't list your name here), you made me feel like an AUTHOR. Until yesterday, I didn't know the difference. So thank you. More than I can say.